Hi agn..haha..i would recommend u to leave as i'm gonna talk alot of crap..hehe..so if u hate craps and lame..kindly leave ^^"..tyvm
today when bballing wif sy bk fiona shuhui charmaine vanessa n eleen..lol..quite fun thou playing bball wif them..but today is a bad day..coz my dad ask me go see hp stuff..irritating..dont wan talk bout it..quite sometime nver play bball wif them le..mayb last time playing wif them idk..but will see hw..nw i found out tt i've grown taller !! haha..tts one thing..but my speed and my hands cannot coordinate well..causing the ball kip falling off my area of reach..means cannot control well lah..lolx..
today i had a feeling..so painful..my heart..so sad..idk y..
"if one day u found someone u lyk..hav had an good relationship wif tt guy"..tt came to my mind..and sent to her..idk y tis came to my mind..juz nw she had gastric pain..when i saw her..i felt so useless..nth i could do even as a fren..
nw the time is 11.30pm..my heart felt so stuffy and pain..nver felt so hurt before..i could do anything bout wats going on arnd me..so hopeless..sometimes i really nid someone to actually company me..but i noe nws not the time..everyone havin exams..except my sec 4 frenz..finished N lvl..but they hav their own things to do oso..dont wanna disturb them..so came here and wrote it on..
sometime how i wish i could read her heart..i really wonders wat she is thinking all about..dont quite unst wat she means..wat she gonna do..sometimes it onli makes my mind go into the field of question wif lots of ridiculious answers...ever since we started off..i mind was full of her all day long everyday..wanna noe wats she's doing..is she ok..is she taking care of herself well..did she injured herself somewhere etc etc..juz cant stop thinking..lots of her..and her..and her..i dare not say tt she MUZ be wif me..nor i'm the best guy she could ever find..but as long as i noe..she is happy..she is safe..i would be very content to live on quietly without disturbing her..( lol..very mushy eh..think so too --ll )
its hard to let go actually..she was my 1st girlfriend afterall..think it will take quite some time to actually forget..really really cant live without her..she is lyk a part of me alrdy..the image of her is deeply carved onto my heart..she had left her footsteps on my heart..she's always in my mind..( omg..here onwards is getting out of hand !! ) the way she smile and laught..the way she talks..her voice..her scent..her attitude..her temper..her face..her back when she walk off..all of these were deeply remembered in my heart..it shall not b erase..
ppls emotions change very fast..all it nid is juz a split seconds of silence and tts it..it changes due to ppl arnd him or her too..tts even more faster..change on the spot !
nw i felt the emptyness in my life..hw quiet my life is althou i'm always noisy arnd frenz..getting lame and stupid..i did all these was juz merely to entertain ppl actually..no other purposes as it seems so..live to entertain ppl..tt kinda life sucks..i really hate it..y do i hav to entertain others to benefit?? cant i stand on my own feet??
rather stuipd to say all these thou..no one is looking..no one is listening..talking to the wall..sometime hw i wish i was dead...bring no trouble to others and also to end suffering for ppl arnd me as well as to me..i'm juz so tired..wanna get away from all these irritating stuff..
holiday juz started onli and nw i'm getting sick of it..
so ppl out there..hav more frenz..be truthful to them and cherish the time u hav..dont waste a min a sec..when u're together u could find alot of things to enjoy as well as to learn..
talking crap agn..haiz..cant be bothered cant i..haha..
kk..enough of rubbish..ending it here..
good luck to my frenz who is still having exams..
