Thursday, October 25, 2007;
24/10/2007..something occured..both boon and me was isolated..lost frenz..left both of us sitting at our own home looking at the comp's screen playing rappelz..patched whole afternoon till the other day..yet to complete..our "best friends" were now gone..
25/10/2007..woke up..forgotten to pay the bill my bro asked me to..and also the cheque..forgot to drop it..quickly washed up and ran to drop it and pay bill..
play too much game recently..forgot many things..haiz..><
cant think of anything to write atm..update agn another time..
Time Posted
9:15 AM
Friday, October 19, 2007;
things hav been made clear now..
everything will end..
mayb i am thinking too much..
and mayb i am not..
it shall not occure anymore..
neither should it carry on..
i shall not pester u further..
but i will not ignore u..
i will leave our memories behind..
so tt it will stay for forever..
nth i can giv u till nw..
onli hope tt u found a better one..
best wishes to u..
jon to sh
(hope for the best for u)
Time Posted
7:26 PM
Thursday, October 18, 2007;
i'm hurt..totally deeply hurt..truth came to me..it told me everything..
all tis while i've been an idiot..a BIG idiot..being kept in the dark for duno hw long..
everyone noes it..i dont..
u noe..every of yur action..every of yur words matters alot to me..
it affects me as well for the day..even if when u nid time to think bout things or even ignore me..i didnt say anything..all i wan is u to speak up wat u wan from me..is tt very difficult to ask for??nw i'm lost..wat am i gonna do nxt..
do u noe hw does it feel lyk being in tis situation..?it feels lyk living in hell !!
u'll feel lost..duno wat u should do..u'll suffer the pain of being alone..being abandon !!
tts for all i can say coz tts how i'm being treated as and wat i'm feeling right now !!!!
why?why treat me lyk tt?y dont u guys tell me the truth earlier so tt i could leave
it alone sooner?dont even care how i feel?
juz who am i to u all out there?
Time Posted
8:37 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007;
Today i should say i am happy n rather unhappy..hehe..nth big actually..sth small ^^"
today when basketballing wif boon,sin yong,charmaine,vanessa and fiona..lol..didnt really felt well coz previous night didnt slp !! onli slpt for one hr and woke up dunno y..haha..think is becoz my rappelz's pet went up to evo 2 !! damn happy..coz its my 1st evo 2 pet =333 hehehe..so happy and excited..hehehe..
and the other thing is tt..
i'm lyk slowly forgetting bout wats the bad things among we two..not saying i dont love her anymore..juz tt..seems lyk not seeing one another and not msging makes us two feel better as in..lesser pain in the heart? lolx..quite hard to explain it out thou..~ LOL ~..
the sad or rather unhappy thing is tt..i had a fall and my left leg is being scratched rather badly as it looks lyk it..haha..not really serious..juz abit scratched..hehe..wow..it was lyk a long time ago since i last fall dwn and got cuts..hehehe..bring back memories..~ LOL ~..rubbish xD
u noe..the feeling is so great tt yur hardwork had been paid off eh..it always feels good..lyk the yeti for instant..trained it so long liao at last lv 60+10 xD hahaha..very VERY happy xD
had tis feeling of being "released" duno y..it had been quite some time since we last talked to one another liaoz..sometimes i think..y do we hav to do tis?it hurts alot to both of us noe..did she did tis on purpose..?do she do so?did she did it so tt she could forget about me and let me forget bout her too..? or is it becoz she had fallen for another person..?
if tts really the reasons..y didnt she tell me directly instead..?or she can oso ask her frenz to tell me oso can..juz dont quite get y she is doing all tis to make both of us feel bad..mayb i'm thinking too much..mayb i'm over worrying things..nw all i can do is tt wait till she feels lyk talking to me then reply..?or do i take the initiative to talk to her..?but i dont wish to feel being irritated...wat should i do?
Time Posted
7:33 PM
Sunday, October 14, 2007;
yoz yoz yoz !! wahahhaa..JONATHAN IS BACK !! I'M OK ALRDY !! haha..
back to the old me ^^ sry for my attitude lately guys..coz of some stupid
reasons i went very EMO and get every sensitive for everything arnd me xD
sry sry.. !!
nw i'm ok..hope nth goes wrong from nw onwards !!
take care all my frenz ^^ =3
Time Posted
12:07 AM
Saturday, October 13, 2007;
hehehe..sometimes juz dunno wat am i thinking..haha..going abit crazy liaoz..duno y..feeling abit excited o0? reason? idk either xD
juz nw had tis feeling coming to me in a sudden..all those unhappy things and irritating stuff juz *snap*..gone..hahah..feeling very relief nw xD relaxing my mind for nw ~ ~ ~ then tis thought came to me.."hey..dont give up yet..she havent tell u what she's tinking !!" so i followed tis thought and came to a conclusion..actually all tis while i'm not being who i actually am..shouldnt think so much xtras things tt hav yet to happen..haha..take another step after stepping on one..walk slowly..
theres alot of time nw..thought of playing game whole 3 mths..but come to tink bout it..its rather a waste..y not do sth..but i've yet to thought of anything tt i could do xD ~ LoL ~
waste time agn..hahahah..lolx..feeling so happy and relax nw..no words other than
"happy" and "ralax" could describe my feelings nw ~ ! ~ LoL ~
sry to all my frenz who were worried bout me earlier on..i'm so call " OK " alrdy xD haha..hopefully i will b for the rest of the days o0.. ~ LoL ~
becoz of me attitude quite some trouble occures..but tink it will be gone soon xD hahah
Time Posted
3:36 PM
Friday, October 12, 2007;
Here are some Love Poems i found on the web and i find it interesting ^^
I just want to let you know that you will always be
A very special person who means the world to me
From the first, so long ago, until this very day
You've only grown more lovely with your tender touch of gray
You take the time to listen to what I have to say
Which means so very much in this world of dismay
And even though some lines have come across your face
To me they've added character in each and every place
I see you standing firm in a world that's changing fast
To me you are the link between my future and my past
The years will come and go and I know that things will change
But the memories I have of you, in my heart they will remain.
Love is patient, Love is kind
Love is not jealous, is not proud.
Is not puffed up,
It does not behave badly.
Love does not easily get angry,
It does not think evil.
Love does not rejoice in iniquity,
But rejoices in the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things
Hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never Fails.
~ LOL..nothing better to do..hehe ~
Time Posted
8:39 PM
Had been
drinking much
lately..
ANOTHER BOTTLE !!
all drunk to forget those unhappy things..
Time Posted
5:30 PM
I had enough all these and i really meant it !!
why?why do u guys wanna treat me lyk tis?juz wat had i done tt makes u guys treat me lyk tis?
went for basketball today..rained agn..so we went to the coffee shop nearly..we didnt ate anything at 1st..juz drank some drinks and we sat dwn at the nearly area..they were talking..leaving me alone listening to music which no one giv a damn..
so i went away to the other side to sit..when they had finished their drink..they juz walk away without letting me noe !! they juz walk away lyk tis !! wtf is tis ?!?! then they went to another coffee shop nearby for lunch..i juz walked away lyk tis after sitting dwn for 20 sec or so and they did not say anything..till nw none of them msged or called me to ask wat happened..
i treat them as my best frenz whom i can share anything wif..but i was wrong..they dont even giv a damn about me..they dont even care whether i am there or not !!
i had enough of tis..tis is not juz the 1st time..ytd also lyk tt..they said play basketball..but rained..so we went to someone's house as 'he' got sth to giv the girls..so i juz stayed at the staircase..then they juz went off doing the things the girls requested and juz left me alone..
wat is tis?? since u guys wanna b lyk tis..y not DONT call me out ?! dont u all noe its a waste of time juz to go there..sit there..being ignored..then nobody giv a damn bout it..plz..if u guys wan me to be there,can at least prove my existance? i'm a human..i hav feelings as u all do..but juz y do u all hav to treat me lyk tis? if tts the case might as well break our friendship up..i dont nid frenz who treat me lyk shit while i giv them the best i hav all the time..
when u guys nided help..u guys approached me..did i say "get lost" or "sry i cant help u"? everytime my ans is either "ok" or "wait while i go check for u"..then nw u all treat me lyk tis..fine..
i had enough..how i wish i was dead nw than being alive suffering all these nonsense..
she..tis another thing i'm at the utmost concerned and thinking about..since from 25/9,she hav been pushing me out..i am really really very sad..very very tired..she kip avoiding me..ignoring me..ok..i noe its my fault for hurting yur feelings once agn..i dont say a word about hw u treat me but instead i asked about hw u r all along..are u ok..is everything going smoothly for her..yet..things are still the same..are u doing this so tt to punish me and to make me feel hw it is lyk to hurt someone?if tts the case..y not u tell me juz wat u wanna do?
do u noe the more u ignore me..the more i'm starting to feel tt u're irritating and start to hate u? deep inside me i dont hate u..in fact i wanna find out hw u r recently and hw are u feeling..are u ok.. i wanna noe everything about u..yet being treated lyk tis..if u really find me irritating to u..and u nid space..TELL ME !! i'll giv u all the space and in fact i'm rdy to leave u anytime and nver to appear infront of u agn..all u nid to do is juz tell me tts wat u wan..and i'll giv it to u..
to all those ppl i talk bout above..u noe who u r..if tts wat u really wan..then fine..let it b..end of friendship and tts it..as for her..i'll still and i'm still waiting for an ans..i'm not gonna talk to her until she talks to me..dont wanna disturb her and make her feel irritated..
Time Posted
2:30 PM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007;
Hi agn..haha..i would recommend u to leave as i'm gonna talk alot of crap..hehe..so if u hate craps and lame..kindly leave ^^"..tyvm
today when bballing wif sy bk fiona shuhui charmaine vanessa n eleen..lol..quite fun thou playing bball wif them..but today is a bad day..coz my dad ask me go see hp stuff..irritating..dont wan talk bout it..quite sometime nver play bball wif them le..mayb last time playing wif them idk..but will see hw..nw i found out tt i've grown taller !! haha..tts one thing..but my speed and my hands cannot coordinate well..causing the ball kip falling off my area of reach..means cannot control well lah..lolx..
today i had a feeling..so painful..my heart..so sad..idk y..
"if one day u found someone u lyk..hav had an good relationship wif tt guy"..tt came to my mind..and sent to her..idk y tis came to my mind..juz nw she had gastric pain..when i saw her..i felt so useless..nth i could do even as a fren..
nw the time is 11.30pm..my heart felt so stuffy and pain..nver felt so hurt before..i could do anything bout wats going on arnd me..so hopeless..sometimes i really nid someone to actually company me..but i noe nws not the time..everyone havin exams..except my sec 4 frenz..finished N lvl..but they hav their own things to do oso..dont wanna disturb them..so came here and wrote it on..
sometime how i wish i could read her heart..i really wonders wat she is thinking all about..dont quite unst wat she means..wat she gonna do..sometimes it onli makes my mind go into the field of question wif lots of ridiculious answers...ever since we started off..i mind was full of her all day long everyday..wanna noe wats she's doing..is she ok..is she taking care of herself well..did she injured herself somewhere etc etc..juz cant stop thinking..lots of her..and her..and her..i dare not say tt she MUZ be wif me..nor i'm the best guy she could ever find..but as long as i noe..she is happy..she is safe..i would be very content to live on quietly without disturbing her..( lol..very mushy eh..think so too --ll )
its hard to let go actually..she was my 1st girlfriend afterall..think it will take quite some time to actually forget..really really cant live without her..she is lyk a part of me alrdy..the image of her is deeply carved onto my heart..she had left her footsteps on my heart..she's always in my mind..( omg..here onwards is getting out of hand !! ) the way she smile and laught..the way she talks..her voice..her scent..her attitude..her temper..her face..her back when she walk off..all of these were deeply remembered in my heart..it shall not b erase..
ppls emotions change very fast..all it nid is juz a split seconds of silence and tts it..it changes due to ppl arnd him or her too..tts even more faster..change on the spot !
nw i felt the emptyness in my life..hw quiet my life is althou i'm always noisy arnd frenz..getting lame and stupid..i did all these was juz merely to entertain ppl actually..no other purposes as it seems so..live to entertain ppl..tt kinda life sucks..i really hate it..y do i hav to entertain others to benefit?? cant i stand on my own feet??
rather stuipd to say all these thou..no one is looking..no one is listening..talking to the wall..sometime hw i wish i was dead...bring no trouble to others and also to end suffering for ppl arnd me as well as to me..i'm juz so tired..wanna get away from all these irritating stuff..
holiday juz started onli and nw i'm getting sick of it..
so ppl out there..hav more frenz..be truthful to them and cherish the time u hav..dont waste a min a sec..when u're together u could find alot of things to enjoy as well as to learn..
talking crap agn..haiz..cant be bothered cant i..haha..
kk..enough of rubbish..ending it here..
good luck to my frenz who is still having exams..
Time Posted
11:01 PM
Monday, October 08, 2007;
Hi all..quite some time nver log-in..haha..busy wif N-lvl n also playing game(~LoL~) haha..playing rappelz atm..quite fun if u're playing wif frenz or in team..not alone thou..hahahx..if interested can go to www.filefront.com and look for rappelz epic 4 and download it..quite cool thou..hahahx..kk..talk bout wats happened recently..recently..i found out tt i'm VERY noisy and irritating..its true..talk so much rubbish..<~rubbishboy~> irritating oso..haiz..and not onli those 2 things..guess ppl will hate me more coz..i broke up wif her..agn!!(~btw we patched on 29/08~)(~broke up on 25/09~) TT damn irritating me..tis time round..broke up wif her coz of some ppl(cant rmb who) say she dont lyk me no more..then break up wif her will do both of us good..then broke up wif her..nw..idk wat we are nw..frenz?..are we still who we are?..think i did hurt her VERY VERY badly..guess anyone would b if being treated lyk tis..others might think tt i'm toying her feelings arnd..break patch break patch..but i dont care much..coz i noe deep dwn inside my heart..i truely love her and wanna be wif her..but if she really wanna clear cut lines between us..i'll respect her decision..when i'm wif her..tt kind of feelings..its hard to describe..hmm..is lyk u're running on a endless field wif lots of flowers and butterfly flying arnd..(~LoL~) its tt kind of wonderful..nothing to worry bout..do not nid to think bout others..juz the two of us..we're rather used to speechless..even thou sometimes i find it very hard to go through these speechless between us..but by juz thinking bout the time we're together,all these "hard to go through" juz fade off..being wif her until nw..i would say..she's the one..tis few months..been "trying" to work hard in my studies..thou i dont seems lyk..doing work which i dun noe hw to do last time was easy..willing to do things wif slightly more initiative..i could say she really motivates me..alot..wanted to be wif her..wanna feel her heart beat..wanna hold her hands looking into her eyes and tell her how much i love her..wanna listen to her when she's talking bout her day..wanna share her sorrow..her sadness..wanna hold her hands and walk wif her throughout my life..really really love her alot..i'll try my best to give her everything i hav..hope one day we will be lyk b4..holding hands walking on the strees..(~sth to share wif others bout hw i felt~)tis is a picture of a token to our love for one another..
tis picture
might b taken
badly..
but..
it is
printed onto
my
heart deeply
and
beatifully.. ty for visiting my blog..(~ ^^ ~)
Time Posted
9:40 PM
Had been 
