I m A l o n e

2011-02-11T02:45:00.002+08:00

ahh..so long nver post anyting here..
bet there isnt anyone actually comes in and takes a look =P
well..doesnt really matter..
wat matters mayb juz for me to "whine" bout wat i wanna talk bout xD
hahahas

tings had been all the while same as it looks to me as nth much actually happened that matters me alot actually..
almost everyday the same..
wake up on the same old position..
wake up wif the same old face..
nth really changed..well..mayb..
hahas

lately rushing for my sch's FYP work!!
omg..wayyy behind schedule aint gonna giv up yet
not till the deadline aint gonna giv in..
not really say that the time i spent here is wasted..thou it is in many eyes
well..idk..till now tbh i havent really decided wat i wanna do nxt after wat i currently is doing..
no plans?
hahas..yea it is

been acting weird lately somehow..
mayb i juz stayed in for too long and been let out for too long?
yea mayb..its making me so tired and weak now that i cant really concentrate..
well..idk..juz hope that wat im refering no one noes bout it..
keke, tend to whine alot but i dont noe why myself either..
i juz lyk to whine mayb? hahas~~

Late Night, Long Night..

2010-06-13T13:18:00.005+08:00

hihi..lols..its another "long time no post" agn..hahas..cant be help coz sometimes came in but duno wat to write bout..prolly no one reading but still ill post sth as and when if i feel lyk putting on sth..hahas

another holiday came..weee..finally a break before nxt term comes andd there we go..FYP!! hahas..wonder wat well be done..bit looking forward..hehes

despite the fact "sch is boring"..which it is..i find it fun now n kinda part of my life now..last time when skip sch feels nth..now nver go sch will hav the feeling sth is not rite..lols..but too bad bah..realise too late..soon after goona graduate n another new begining embarks..duno whr imma b after tt..hopefully somewhr ill b happy everyday? hahas..hope so..lols ^^

ive changed my phone xD from f595 to omnia2..and now using it doing tis posts xD awesome! xD..which was previously my elder bro was using but my sis bought over from him n giv me xD my sis is the best xD treat me damn good sial..hahas..even my previous phone(f595) n bill she pay for it..looools

lately agn on comp duno do wat oso..play rappelz oso lyk so bored..no ppl company n solo so hard for buffer/supporter class despite the fact i can survive..then train pets so slow coz non-pet class x.x but its a great game ill say..
then play borderland oso sian coz im so noob wif fps games x.x hahas..

hais..sian..dont feel lyk staying at home rite now actually..nth to do n gonna help wif father wif his work agn..serious dont lyk it loh..walao..his eork stuff became my priority..zzz..

wanna go out so much x.x sians sians sians..

finally for soooo long after..i managed to save some money!!! thou lyk..so little..but still i feel tt its great coz so long ago i say wan save but cant manage..but now finally can...superb..hahas

loools..alot happened n many comes n goes..still my life has a long way to go..wat had past let it be n live for better tml

so long nver see NPCC juniors le..hope can see them soon..lols

alrite..heres it n will mayb update agn another long time ltr..loools~~~

2010-04-20T20:49:00.002+08:00

finally circle line opened..
can take train go sch instead le..
took me 40 mins in all to travel from home to sch..
hahs..
its way convenient de..
lol..
today damn guai lan one..
kajiao both zy and cheryl tink till they fed up xD
hahahas..
very geh gao thou..
lols..
go ds them..
hahas..
TIO PAH ONLI
hahahahhas..

sch started last monday and lots of new stuff to catch up wif..
new assignments, programmes to learn..
etc etc..
wonder if can really make it thru anot..
sadly cher not teaching us anymore le..
else will hav lotsa fun one loh..
hahas

new 3D programme to play arnd wif but its a real OMG for me coz its kinda complicated for me..
nid bulk up more..
promised glenn muz do all work before heading holiday last term..
thou now still sees him everyday..
nth much oso dont feel lyk pon sch..
but still assignments oso muz work on it..
else really end up idk wat i do tis 2 years..

freaking headache killing me at nite for past few days..
wtf sial..
duno why got so much headache lately..
sians..
headache comes agn..
hais..

hmmm..
friday noon got lesson no more NPCC le =l
despite ive step dwn from NPCC so long liao..
still feel alot to go back and learn, as well to help if i can..
its real fun going back seeing juniors doing better each time..
thou still hav troublesome ones, etc etc..
still i believe theyll improve someday..
some ppl juz nid more time now and then to get their sense out of them..
some ppl..
not all..
hahas

and there goes my friday afternoon..
hopefully can be rep by monday/thursday noon
so friday noon is free and can go back agn ^^
look forward and to my juniors who reads my blog..
all the best and go for it (jy) ^^

2010-04-10T19:02:00.002+08:00

ytd was another year of POP tt i went to..
ytd's training was rather..
lets say to me its boring and messed up..
but still as usual its fun too coz its my fav ting to do during friday afternoon..
seeing all my juniors growing up and learning as they grow..
its a real great achievement imma ever get..
altho sometimes tcher doesnt really praise on anyting we or i did..
hahas..
from their faces could see some of them cant bear to leave..
and some didnt show much expression..
but deep dwn could feel tt all of them felt the same..
few years passes fast..
everyone growing and everyone learning..
till tis stage now as we look back,"hey its juz lyk ytd tt i juz joined NPCC"..
everyting was still fresh as hw we started off..

when theres a start, theres a end..
no matter hw long or short time you had together..
it doesnt matter..
wat all matter is..
you still remembers..
look ahead and walk forward..
and one day ull find tt..
mayb u guys will mit agn somewhr..

All the best to all who are taking N or O level this year
Work hard, Play Smart =33

! NPCC Forever !

2010-03-04T08:00:00.003+08:00

hihihi..
hahahas..
another day tt imma be late for actual time class agn..
=,= lols
hais..
everytime oso cant wake on time..
duno when then ill b able to go sch on time lyk wat i always does..
lols..

waaa..
sian..
ytd tt test..
hais..
60% i see i duno how to do sial..
haiyo..
all bout camera etc one..
muz bulk up..
1 week left onli till final exam comes..
and holiday after tt~ wooots

hmmm..
still feeling very uneasy bout certain tings which i cant figure out wats it..
juz lyk sth is stucked on yur chest..
feeling weird..
was tinking juz now..
mayb i should juz giv it up..?
coz..
i dont tink she is interested anymore..
juz to entertain me tts why reply..
idk..
confused..
hais..

ok tis time im really running late xD
gonna make a move..
cyas =P

2010-03-03T08:38:00.001+08:00

hmm..everytime write sth sure got sth happened..hahas
duno why but lately's days is lyk so boring to me..
wake up..
go sch..
makan..
go home..
on lappy play game..
slp..
nxt day and it continues..
nid someting else to fill my life =o

flu everyday is getting sick and tired of it..zz..
kip getting flu so much lately..sians..
not to say headache oso kip coming after one another wave..
hais..

lately found a few discovery on the programmes i use in sch and at home..
woots..finally learn new stuff..hahas xD
rushing sch for test at 10 =P =O
im late! xD hahahas
cyas ^^

2010-02-08T23:41:00.002+08:00

arg..lately so much stuff pile up making tings so confusing for me
duno lah..headache almost everyday tinking of a solution to deal wif it all
even playing game doesnt help at all..crap..wat should i do..
zzz..so tired lately tt i dont even feel tt i hav enuff slp even if i do..
tings getting more and more complicated and its getting more and more messed up
frens arnd me oso cant help it coz they oso duno how to help..
whyyy...zzz..headache..
so many stressful stuff..juz hope get rid of it ASAP..super tired of it alrdy..

2010-02-07T10:22:00.002+08:00

Lately feeling very fked up..
plus tings kip popping up..
feeling sometings is bothering me..
why ppl doesnt unst wat im tinking..
why..

2010-01-20T20:06:00.002+08:00

Hihihi to anyone whos reading tis blog xD hahas~

It was lyk so long ago tt I last posted..prolly tis blog can considered dead but juz to key sth in lyk doing house cleaning preventing dusts..loools

Hahas..well..got a few times wanted to post sth up but juz dont felt rite end up deleting wat I wrote..lols..

It had been a long good time since I last rmb I posted sth and I rmb wat is it lyk noeing wats the real fun of stuffs..lately few tings happeed..but I didnt tell anyone nor anyone asked..mayb juz im too much of "being normal" make tings turn out normal eventually..hahas..or mayb juz no one wanna pay attention to wat imma gonna do or am doing..oh well..anyway its not gonna benefit me for anyting so didnt tink so much wat others felt oso..lols..dont tink so much is always the best..dont giv self so much stuff to tink and trouble of..hahas

Been weeks..in fact almost 2 mths since last contacted my buddies to go out hav some workout under the sun..hahas..sry bro tt day u jio I forgotten bout it =x play game till I forgotten tt u jio out to play bball..hahas =x psps..after tt didnt contact me out le sial..so sad and so sian..lols

Lately oso sian dao duno wat to say..everyday doing the same ting..wake up wash up go sch come home wash up makan on comp play WoW or do nth..well..thou playing game main purpose is to kill time entertain self..but its getting bit bored for me doing it all the time..hahas..got bored of playing games not firt time le..last time in sec sch bored till play game still got tons of frens to hang and wif stay in sch till super late for no good reason oso can..but now..no way..sch so far from house cannot stay till super late else by the time I reach home alrdy nxt morning le -.- lols hahahhs~

My current class is fun tts sth I wont deny..but everyone is so busy at times tt I often gets forgotten or ignored..lols..well..can say I got used to it as I noe I myself can get very irritating at times..but when I get irritating..its when I lost my "way" in my mind in wat Im gonna do..hahas..I tried to changed it..but end up ppl say I emo -,- lols..hahahas..well..nid more changes on tt to myself to make myself better to interact wif ppl..lols..

Idk why everytime I go back wdl..I feel so happy..its as if im back to the place I wanna be at..hahas..not onli can see my frens (those who may go back) but oso can see my juniors in NPCC..thou many said tt going back is for nth..waste of time..being xtra..etc etc..but tts the place whr I can express wat I feel the way I want it..at there I can find the real self of me..hahas..but lyk wat my former form tcher said..should let go..hmmm..but can I really do it? lols..duno..but its really comfortable for me being there..it really felt lyk wat I used to say..its my second home..hahas~

2009-11-29T15:39:00.001+08:00

You said that if you could flap your wings, you would never come back down
You always aimed for that blue, blue sky

Even when I don’t remember “sorrow”, I begin to grasp “pain”
When these feelings reach you, they will change into “words”

As you wake from a dream in an unfamiliar world
Spread your wings and take flight

You said that if you could flap your wings, you would never come back down
You headed for that white, white cloud
You know if you can just make it through, you’ll find what you’re looking for

Keep trying to break free for that blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky

Using a sound like harsh words, you broke the rusty old window
You got weary of seeing the cage, you casted it away and never turned back

The pulse that beats quickly catches my breath
Kick this window and take flight

You said that if you ran, that you can do it
That faraway voice that’s calling to take your very radiant hand

Just to search for that blue, blue sky
I understand if you fall, but continue to search for the light

You said that if you could flap your wings, you would never come back down
You search for that white, white cloud

You know that if you can make it through, you’ll find what you’re searching for

Keep trying to break free for that blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky

2009-04-18T16:55:00.003+08:00

Hi readers, had been very long since i ever came in here and write sth..came in after looking at a fren's blog..so kinda decided to write sth off..hehes

well to fill up on wat i had been doing lately..imma start off from my O lvl onwards =P

hmm..after O lvl last paper ended..kinda took a month's "off day" at home filling up and catching up on Rappelz's character wif my fren's lvl..from 70+ leap to 100..woots at last..but they dont wan play liao =.=" hahahs..so..nvm..kinda leave it there and let it collect dust xP

end of november started working at "Golden Bridge" company for 1-2 months plus minus..made a few frens..but now didnt contact much too coz each of us have own studies to pursue etc..hmm..earned bit of $$..life was easy for me tt time althou everyday gonna work..still can hear me complainning " tired sial =.=" dont feel lyk working liao " XD but it was really fun to work in the factory wif the few frens made there and boonkiat..hahas..

after working..it ended before CNY come..still..take "off" till 13 april till ITE starts school..currently im studying at Macpherson ITE campus for those who are interested to noe =P

this 2 months of break before sch starts..quite a few tings happened..first off to talk bout..hmm..
went back wdl on fridays..to look at my dearest sec3, which is sec4 now..hahas..well..theyre good..as tt was wat comes to mind when i visited them in sch =P but onli for 2 mths..after which the security chase me out -.- coz wearing jeans...wtf? xD hahas..nvm loh~..leave sch and didnt turn up till ytd..17/04/09..went back after lesson..at 3+ =.= omg kinda rushing..but still manage make it to see them last time.. xP

well it really brought back many memories of my NPCC times..it really cause a big impact to me mentally and physically..still rmb when i first joined NPCC, still a blur ass walking arnd doing tings wat my senior told me/ instructed me XD but it was damnit fun =) really deep from my heart from then i lyk NPCC, then Ms Gan, Mr Tan and Mr Sani*(sry for mis-spelling) to giv me and my other 3 buddies chance to take part in the annually NPCC parade participant..every week go to HQ for training..then..it was the most happiest time and the time i learn the most..from there..my drills from good to better..i learned to endure more than i used to b able to..thx to the IC/CI/officers there to train us then =) tytyty~! after coming back from the parade and stuff..i felt tt my batch's standard had rise slowly yet quick..everyone was so co-operative and we worked out lots of stuff together..thou sometimes theres some disagreement and tis and tt..but we all learn =) after graduating from sec5..from wdl..i miss alot of drills..tis and tt..little tings of NPCC life in wdl..hoped to go back every friday..but now doesnt seems lyk i hav another choice xP unless i rush back just to see Master Parade at 5+ xD hahas..

ytd 17/04, my dearest cadet had their POP - passing out parade..well..kinda relief tt to see so many of them now coz it had been a long way through since they were sec 1 and till now..sec 4..stepping down..ive done my part in teaching them wat i noe and basically made a few frens out of their crowd..thou i can say not all of them agrees wif me in tis statement..but i do take them as my own little brothers and sisters..even my own blood related brother dont get tis kinda treatment i gave them xD hahahhas..idk..mayb i juz felt its my responsibility to take care of them as their senior to teach and take care of them..idk..in trainings imma b strict to them..but actually..i dont really wanna do so =.= ya noe..everytime i scold them/ shout at them..i get sick the nxt day xD sore throat headache etc xP hahahas mayb im juz a weak ass -.-" XD wahhahaha

sch started on monday 13/04..so far got to noe a few frens..but still i kinda isolate myself wif them..idk..mayb till now i still dont feel belong to there..but ill try to fit in than to quit first..quitting may b my last resort but not now yet =)

stopped logging to Rappelz since sch started..sth happened too..but dont really wanna talk bout it..coz dont wanna lose frens coz of tt matter =) afterall..i dont hav much frens arnd =P

well..kinda come to the end of wat imma wanna say tis moment..imma juz pop on and write sth if i hav anyting in mind to talk bout or wat ever so..hahahs

one last msg to my dearest sec3, whom ill always rmb u as who u are all these while to me, in my heart:

Good Friends Never Say Goodbye to One Another in Life

from there..i end tis post..hoping and wishing to my cadets, my dearest brothers and sisters..best of luck in yur examinations and do your best =)

2008-05-20T16:36:00.004+08:00

Hi readers !! hahas..sry for not being able to update my blog for sooo freaking long T_T
sibeh paiseh ar~ busy wif exam etc..not much chance to touch comp T_+ hahas
how are u guys doing? so far so good? hahas..im fine im fine..thx for those who concern ^^
thx a million

waa..mid year juz ended..at last..can take a break but NO ! T_T O lvl mt paper coming up leh..sians..hais..saddenning..thou can relax..who noes T_T

hahas
hmm..lets see..wow..a year liao leh since..*ahem* hahas...nvm..wat pass is past..dont wanna talk bout it anymore if not more problems will pop out T_T juz hope tt shell find a better one and be happy~ tts all i ask for bah..hmm..

wootz..5 years in my beloved NPCC liao if include tis year..hahas..time fly so fast T_T..it was juz lyk ytd tt i was trained wif my frens in the training shad* in the old building..waa..memory..hahas

see my junior all turning sec 3 liao (sobsob) all grown up liao (sobsob) all taking over liao..hais..really gonna miss them all one..hais..how i hope i could make it to all the training on every fridays..so can see them lead the younger ones to a brighter future~ (waa..lyk fantasy sial..wtf ==") hahahas..its lyk theyre my kids one lor..see them from sec1 till now..alot of changes here and there..hahas..the fun time..the strict time..the sad times..not really much of the sad part actually..hahas..but still..being wif them kinda makes me happy coz afterall..theyre still the ones who companied me throught my fridays everyweek..thou i could see from their faces they dont lyk me..hahhas..sibeh thick face ==" hahahs

my dearest sec3 NCOs..heres sth i wanna tell u guys x)

one should not be too overexcited by wat u are given, wat u hav
do wat u are suppose to and live happily
learn to giv and take
and one last ting..
u guys will always be in my heart for as long as im 2 years older than u guys
xD hahahahhahahahhas

hehehes =P sibeh mushy =="
bhb, bth, wat ever oso come out =="
hahahas

kks..got ppl rushing my finish editing coz she wanna read =="
ending here

take cares readers
and
my dearest sec3s NCOs
x33

ill miss u guys xP

2008-03-20T21:04:00.002+08:00

hi all..it had been awhile since i last posted sth..so dropped by and though of posting sth up to kip u readers *updated*..haha..

ah...so fast its march alrdy..time fly so quickly even b4 i had noticed it..hmm...

5 years in wdl le..wow..so fast sec 5 le..unexpected from wat i had though of in sec 4..haha..hmmm..come to think bout it..its also at the same time..5 years (4++) in NPCC le !! hahaha...

alot of memories during/ wif my buddies i met in NPCC.. its fun fun fun wif them arnd..nver ending laughter and joy wif them..but coz of time..we grow and we headed to our own dreams and goals..think im the onli one left at the back..think im the onli one that still holding on to things i shouldnt hold on to..

hmm..come to think bout it..its almost to a year since last year's event happened..alot changed..but still..im still at the back of everyone proceeding ahead..hais..then i thou of sth that may fit me well.."everyone had proceeded..onli left me in my own memory world".. hahha..nice? xD lols..lame !

haha...

the day b4 ytd..had some disappointment from her..was very sad to noe wat happened..then today..hais..thou i lyk honest answer from my frenz and ppl being frank wif me wif things arnd or wat they had to say..but still.. fact hurts one alot..especially when u care alot for that person..

cabal..hahaha...lvl 53 liao xD..shok..but stupid bk train so fast !! 4~5 lvls ahead of me !! hais...think i wont b able to catch le wif my mood lately.. ><

2008-02-01T19:11:00.000+08:00

tatas ! hello all !! hahahaha
here agn..keke..spam rubbish(s) kekekek..

hmm..ahh..so great..been attending NPCC side trainings..haha..kinda happy that my passion is still there..but..haiz..hard to say it..offend alot..hais...

kinda glad tt todays training i helped few cadets on the tying of knots..haha..feels so good tt i actually could help them wif these little things..haha..

ytd..hmm..told someone sth..she was kinda shocked..haiz..sian sian..think im gonna do it a proper one..kinda lyk anyhw last night =x..

ytd too..hurt someone..thou she say no..but i noe..shes kinda hurt in deep dwn..hais ><..so confused on wat im gonna do nxt..

waaa..dead meat..tis few days couldnt slp well..everyday slp in class @_@ duno y..maths slp..english slp..zzz..kao..nid to slp early at night to kip my energy stored for another day's lessons..zzz..sianz

im confused im confused im confused !! wat should i do !! ><" headache..><" felt weird..VERY weird..kao..haiz..duno lah..see hw when the day comes..headache headache..haiz..

NPCC NPCC so fun !! lols..its really fun =33
my bro and i really enjoyed the time in NPCC..we learnt alot alot alot during our times in NPCC for the past 4+ years..haha..thou some ppl say " hey..dont go lah..study more impt..CONCENTRATE !!" but i think things u do wif passion and u enjoy doing it..ull excel to yur full potential..haha..

hmm..memories..haiyo..headache..hw i wish things will lyk..go back in time? or juz disappear before anyone spot it..haiz..

headache..wonder..if i had made the right decision..felt..kinda weird and uneasy =( haiz..hope i dont disappoint any of them..which is kinda not possible T_T

...hmmm...phone value emptied agn T_T sry jie T_T hahah..
spam alot of msg lately..keke..= P hehe...

2008-01-12T08:15:00.000+08:00

hi all~ haha..
so long didnt log in to write sth on it..kinda bored rite?
i mean my blog..hehe..anyway..here to post one since sooo long didnt do so..

sch holiday over..hmm..kinda miss my online fren =x keke..cant really play comp
much lately thou..lots of homework etc etc..'O' level this year..gonna study and work hard? hahax..hard to believe i will do so =.=" l0ls.. zz =.="

waaa..lots of homework =x..
dnt..chinese..english..maths..science etc etc..busy busy..not really as busy as i said thou =.=" if not i wont be here posting this blog =_=" lame xD haha..sot liao ><..lols

kinda surprise thou..that i actually made it to sec 5..thou i couldnt pass my 'N' level =P..but anyway..made my way to sec 5, work hard to at least get a "good" grade for my 'O's so can get higher education? lols..

hais..kinda miss my CCA alot thou i did attend training everyweek..juz duno y i kinda lyk NPCC alot..the drills..campcraft etc etc..its fun..but others think its more of a suffer than fun =( i sometimes wonder y..y do they think so..? well..think this would b listed in the 'personal reason' section of wat we always talk bout..hope that the unit can be more united and work towards better standard =) hehe..

hmm..sch juz started..think nth much to talk bout..guess i jump back to last year december holiday then =P..keke..

december holiday..actually i juz play game everyday..
wake up in the morning 5am..turn on the comp..play game..wat i play? various different games..maple o.o?, soldier front, audition,grandchase etc etc..too many to list it all out here =x lols...day by day during the holiday passes..getting more and more boring..my frenz and i didnt plan to go out to hav some excercising..play bball (basketball) hmm..kinda great to noe them thou..coz before i even noe them..i didnt hav much chances to step out of my house to do things..anything..lols..but playing bball too often making others feel bored too =.=" from a group of 7~9 ppl..drop till 5 ppl playing bball constantly as the day drawing near to the end of sch holiday..hahas..think nid to think of other activity so the rest will not get bored of it =x lols..

hmm..guess it would b a stressful year for my frenz as well as for me..homework assignment etc etc..nid work hard ~ !! haha..so..hmmmm

think ill end here then..cant think of anything much to fill in =x @.@ =P hehe...
so tts bout it then..thx for coming =)

bye~

2007-11-18T16:09:00.000+08:00

Hi all..haha..
didnt update lately..coz nth special happened..so dont find a point to really update coz got nth to write about ^^"
hehehe..actually now oso lyk nth much to update -.-"

1st thing to start off..
for those frenz who is going overseas for holdiay/ for cca..

take care and best luck too all of u !!
muz take care wor..after all u're still going somewhr u nver been b4..
take care take care.. =33 XD

kk..today..
hahah..was using my old comp juz now..then went into my own folder..started looking at everything in it...my photos..documents..etc...

when i was refering to the photos..many of them made me recall all the things i've done in the past together wif my teammates..wif all my frenz..

then as i continue,saw my npcc photos..ahh..all the memory and all the things i've done surfaced..everything happened juz lyk ytd..all happened so quickly that i seems to hav done nth..time flies fast..its over before u noe it =D

then..continue clicking and pressing..saw the class photos..haha..
~ 4E ~
hmm...noe these frenz since sec 1 for some,and the rest from sec 2 n 3..
haha..time really goes by fast..N level had ended..now onli left is waiting for result and planning for future o.o..lol..

continue on..to group Zenith ~ ... .... ...
hahaha...well..it had been some time since we last contacted one another..onli met lutfi sometimes on the road when he was going to school..or at the MRT station when he's waiting for his frenz..haha..good memories wif them ^^

as i goes on clicking folders to folders..
i came across the picture of the individual bball frenz..
well..when i say bball frenz..they include..
sy,bk,sh,hm,jy,yh n yy ~ ok la..standard 8 of us whom use to play bball together..
but dont think its in full 8 anymore..hahahx..(dont mind i juz put short forms =D)

haha..impact me most when refering to the pictures was hers =P
but now everything went numb..didnt think much either..duno wat to say bout that..hahah
juz forget her =33
still better be frenz than to be her wat wat wateva u wanna call it =O =D
wakakaka

wont say that i will hate her thou..didnt blame nor hate her for treating me she's treating me the way she is now actually..well after all its my fault nia XD hahah hahahha ~ ~
dont worry guys =33 juz wrote wateva i'm thinking now =33 =D

wat past is past..kip it as memory if its sweet..
if its bad..rmb onli wat u did wrong and dont do it agn
lol..wat talking me..going rubbish agn -.-" hahhahaa

ahh...holiday..to me = games everyday..and i really am gaming everyday !!
hahahaha..rappelz..gunz(sometimes) ~
duudududu..living in a stressless world of my own wif no one will restrict me doing anything XD hahahahaa...FREEDOM !!! wakakakakakkakaka

lol..going crazy ><"
hahahaha....
kk..ending it here..
looking forward for the nxt post ~ ^^ ~
LETS GO !!
hahah
take care all my frenz and readers ^^

2007-11-06T09:52:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhh die die..
omg..forgotten most of the things i've learnt..IN NPCC !!!
had training last sat..i went
to see hows everything is going in the unit
and oso to see hows everyone's doing..
coz kinda quite long nver go sch..nver get to mit them..haha
so-called kinda miss them lah..hwahhaha
haiz..forgotten how to tie knots !! haizz..
hink i gonna prepare myself well before i going for training nxt time..
mayb will b going xD
coz there's ppl who's unwilling(dont wanna) see me..
haha..nvm nvm
see how ^^"
if i were to go..mayb i'll hide arnd 0.o
hahahaa..kidding..
wont hide wont avoid anymore..
its tiring ^^"

been playing game recently xD haha
playing goes nutz !!! hahahahhahaha
same time met a few new friends online..kinda cool
simon and adelline =33 (Peorth/Gannien)
they're cool..helped me alot along the way
hahaha..i'm still the same kip giving trouble to others ^^"
troublemaker !! wahahahah
hehe..shared alot of things wif them..well..i'm still the
so-called santa arnd thou xD hahaha
love to share things wif my friends and pals..dont lyk
them kip giving back wat i gave them thou >< @@
lolx..say all tis for wat xD hahahaahha

totally lyk so enjoying my time now and kinda happy ^^
nice meetting u guys !! ^^
~ wootz ~

hmm..recently..hahaha
kinda miss her agn @@
duno y.. ><" ><" ><"
thou i've forgotten bout her..
but guess its hard..and think it will be harder than
i thou it would b..
oh well..step by step slowly then
guess both of us is impossible after-all ^^"

ahhh..headache.. >> "><" <<
hahaha..
btw..To Know The Unknown is the song
i put for my blog =33 lyk it?
well i lyk it alot ^^
hav a nice day readers ^^ takecare(s)

Pika pika~

2007-11-01T00:13:00.000+08:00

hi hi (^.^) to all my frenz..how are u guys? holiday is here n i'm so called "jailed at home" haha..no lah..can go out..juz lazy to do so =P hehehehe.....dont forget prom on 13 NOV...muz come hor ^^ mit up last time b4 getting results ^^ wuuuu...nervous nervous..haha..not even thinkin bout it coz i raftly noe whr i'll b nxt year =P hahaha...guess u all oso noe lah..my attitude =P hehe (kekeke) ^(;..;)^

hmm..been alone quite some time lately..coz was trying to forget her..then almost got it n the feeling came back - -" ~ EMOs ~ LOL..but nw ok liao..haha..no nid worries..alone the way its hard thou..every night cant get to slp..cant eat well..etc etc..kip thinking bout her..even when i'm in rappelz oso no mood..but...thx to some ppl who bothered n who cares..i've been better ^^

( ppl i wanna thanks specially )

thx alot to all my frenz who showed concern tis few days ~ ^^ tyvm ^^ ~
thx..
Peorth (Lind) for the pointers u gave,
Gannien (Gevien) for the word of encouragement,
Clar (meimei~) for the companion,
Cat (meimei~) for the sharing,
last but not least...
Ah Boon ! wahahahaa..
thx for the time rappelz-ing wif me xD..
n oso
those frenz who chatted wif me but i didnt write here ^^" thx alot for the concerns ^^
LOL..lyk wat lyk tt XD
but really really..thx guys for being there when i needed most ^^ million thx ^^

hahaha...at last...tis time..its the last time..wont happen agn..wont think bout the stupid things..wont do anything stupid..
All the wonderful memory shall be kept in my heart forever..
But the sad memories will be washed away lyk the water in the ocean..
I will be strong..
I will forget..
Things that should be left behind..
Stays behind..
I will walk on !!
=) =33

LOLx..i'm still the lame-o-johnny xD haha..joke wif fun laugh lyk nutz..days will still goes on without her..Life Goes On !!

hahahaha
damn hyper now ^^ =333 RELIEF !! hhahaha..duno wat talking me oso xD =P
anyway thx agn to all my frenz who was there when i nided most !!!!

THX ALOTZ !!!!

wahahahahahaha....really felt soooo relief ^^
LIVE ON HAPPILY !!
hahahx..going nutz agn..hahaha..

kk...today update till here..cant stop getting hyper xD
will come agn nxt time ^^

Lastly..tis is for u..if u happen to b here..

3 srys i wanna tell u..
1st,sry for hurting u
2nd,sry for not being understanding to u
3rd,sry for not being there for u

i still treat u as a fren..even if u were to b rude to me or wanna avoid me etc..coz i still rmb our promises..nvm if u wanna avoid me..i will not blame u.. =)

...

~ Pika Pika ~

2007-10-25T09:15:00.000+08:00

24/10/2007..something occured..both boon and me was isolated..lost frenz..left both of us sitting at our own home looking at the comp's screen playing rappelz..patched whole afternoon till the other day..yet to complete..our "best friends" were now gone..

25/10/2007..woke up..forgotten to pay the bill my bro asked me to..and also the cheque..forgot to drop it..quickly washed up and ran to drop it and pay bill..

play too much game recently..forgot many things..haiz..><
cant think of anything to write atm..update agn another time..

2007-10-19T19:26:00.001+08:00

things hav been made clear now..
everything will end..
mayb i am thinking too much..
and mayb i am not..
it shall not occure anymore..
neither should it carry on..
i shall not pester u further..
but i will not ignore u..
i will leave our memories behind..
so tt it will stay for forever..
nth i can giv u till nw..
onli hope tt u found a better one..
best wishes to u..
jon to sh
(hope for the best for u)

2007-10-18T08:37:00.000+08:00

i'm hurt..totally deeply hurt..truth came to me..it told me everything..
all tis while i've been an idiot..a BIG idiot..being kept in the dark for duno hw long..
everyone noes it..i dont..

u noe..every of yur action..every of yur words matters alot to me..
it affects me as well for the day..even if when u nid time to think bout things or even ignore me..i didnt say anything..all i wan is u to speak up wat u wan from me..is tt very difficult to ask for??nw i'm lost..wat am i gonna do nxt..

do u noe hw does it feel lyk being in tis situation..?it feels lyk living in hell !!
u'll feel lost..duno wat u should do..u'll suffer the pain of being alone..being abandon !!
tts for all i can say coz tts how i'm being treated as and wat i'm feeling right now !!!!

why?why treat me lyk tt?y dont u guys tell me the truth earlier so tt i could leave
it alone sooner?dont even care how i feel?

juz who am i to u all out there?

2007-10-17T19:33:00.000+08:00

Today i should say i am happy n rather unhappy..hehe..nth big actually..sth small ^^"

today when basketballing wif boon,sin yong,charmaine,vanessa and fiona..lol..didnt really felt well coz previous night didnt slp !! onli slpt for one hr and woke up dunno y..haha..think is becoz my rappelz's pet went up to evo 2 !! damn happy..coz its my 1st evo 2 pet =333 hehehe..so happy and excited..hehehe..

and the other thing is tt..

i'm lyk slowly forgetting bout wats the bad things among we two..not saying i dont love her anymore..juz tt..seems lyk not seeing one another and not msging makes us two feel better as in..lesser pain in the heart? lolx..quite hard to explain it out thou..~ LOL ~..

the sad or rather unhappy thing is tt..i had a fall and my left leg is being scratched rather badly as it looks lyk it..haha..not really serious..juz abit scratched..hehe..wow..it was lyk a long time ago since i last fall dwn and got cuts..hehehe..bring back memories..~ LOL ~..rubbish xD

u noe..the feeling is so great tt yur hardwork had been paid off eh..it always feels good..lyk the yeti for instant..trained it so long liao at last lv 60+10 xD hahaha..very VERY happy xD

had tis feeling of being "released" duno y..it had been quite some time since we last talked to one another liaoz..sometimes i think..y do we hav to do tis?it hurts alot to both of us noe..did she did tis on purpose..?do she do so?did she did it so tt she could forget about me and let me forget bout her too..? or is it becoz she had fallen for another person..?

if tts really the reasons..y didnt she tell me directly instead..?or she can oso ask her frenz to tell me oso can..juz dont quite get y she is doing all tis to make both of us feel bad..mayb i'm thinking too much..mayb i'm over worrying things..nw all i can do is tt wait till she feels lyk talking to me then reply..?or do i take the initiative to talk to her..?but i dont wish to feel being irritated...wat should i do?

2007-10-14T00:07:00.000+08:00

yoz yoz yoz !! wahahhaa..JONATHAN IS BACK !! I'M OK ALRDY !! haha..
back to the old me ^^ sry for my attitude lately guys..coz of some stupid
reasons i went very EMO and get every sensitive for everything arnd me xD
sry sry.. !!
nw i'm ok..hope nth goes wrong from nw onwards !!
take care all my frenz ^^ =3

2007-10-13T15:36:00.000+08:00

hehehe..sometimes juz dunno wat am i thinking..haha..going abit crazy liaoz..duno y..feeling abit excited o0? reason? idk either xD

juz nw had tis feeling coming to me in a sudden..all those unhappy things and irritating stuff juz *snap*..gone..hahah..feeling very relief nw xD relaxing my mind for nw ~ ~ ~ then tis thought came to me.."hey..dont give up yet..she havent tell u what she's tinking !!" so i followed tis thought and came to a conclusion..actually all tis while i'm not being who i actually am..shouldnt think so much xtras things tt hav yet to happen..haha..take another step after stepping on one..walk slowly..

theres alot of time nw..thought of playing game whole 3 mths..but come to tink bout it..its rather a waste..y not do sth..but i've yet to thought of anything tt i could do xD ~ LoL ~

waste time agn..hahahah..lolx..feeling so happy and relax nw..no words other than
"happy" and "ralax" could describe my feelings nw ~ ! ~ LoL ~

sry to all my frenz who were worried bout me earlier on..i'm so call " OK " alrdy xD haha..hopefully i will b for the rest of the days o0.. ~ LoL ~
becoz of me attitude quite some trouble occures..but tink it will be gone soon xD hahah

2007-10-12T20:39:00.001+08:00

Here are some Love Poems i found on the web and i find it interesting ^^

I just want to let you know that you will always be
A very special person who means the world to me

From the first, so long ago, until this very day
You've only grown more lovely with your tender touch of gray

You take the time to listen to what I have to say
Which means so very much in this world of dismay

And even though some lines have come across your face
To me they've added character in each and every place

I see you standing firm in a world that's changing fast
To me you are the link between my future and my past

The years will come and go and I know that things will change
But the memories I have of you, in my heart they will remain.

Love is patient, Love is kind
Love is not jealous, is not proud.

Is not puffed up,
It does not behave badly.
Love does not easily get angry,
It does not think evil.

Love does not rejoice in iniquity,
But rejoices in the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things
Hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love never Fails.

~ LOL..nothing better to do..hehe ~

2007-10-12T17:30:00.000+08:00

Had been
drinking much
lately..

ANOTHER BOTTLE !!

all drunk to forget those unhappy things..

2007-10-12T14:30:00.000+08:00

I had enough all these and i really meant it !!

why?why do u guys wanna treat me lyk tis?juz wat had i done tt makes u guys treat me lyk tis?

went for basketball today..rained agn..so we went to the coffee shop nearly..we didnt ate anything at 1st..juz drank some drinks and we sat dwn at the nearly area..they were talking..leaving me alone listening to music which no one giv a damn..

so i went away to the other side to sit..when they had finished their drink..they juz walk away without letting me noe !! they juz walk away lyk tis !! wtf is tis ?!?! then they went to another coffee shop nearby for lunch..i juz walked away lyk tis after sitting dwn for 20 sec or so and they did not say anything..till nw none of them msged or called me to ask wat happened..

i treat them as my best frenz whom i can share anything wif..but i was wrong..they dont even giv a damn about me..they dont even care whether i am there or not !!

i had enough of tis..tis is not juz the 1st time..ytd also lyk tt..they said play basketball..but rained..so we went to someone's house as 'he' got sth to giv the girls..so i juz stayed at the staircase..then they juz went off doing the things the girls requested and juz left me alone..

wat is tis?? since u guys wanna b lyk tis..y not DONT call me out ?! dont u all noe its a waste of time juz to go there..sit there..being ignored..then nobody giv a damn bout it..plz..if u guys wan me to be there,can at least prove my existance? i'm a human..i hav feelings as u all do..but juz y do u all hav to treat me lyk tis? if tts the case might as well break our friendship up..i dont nid frenz who treat me lyk shit while i giv them the best i hav all the time..

when u guys nided help..u guys approached me..did i say "get lost" or "sry i cant help u"? everytime my ans is either "ok" or "wait while i go check for u"..then nw u all treat me lyk tis..fine..

i had enough..how i wish i was dead nw than being alive suffering all these nonsense..

she..tis another thing i'm at the utmost concerned and thinking about..since from 25/9,she hav been pushing me out..i am really really very sad..very very tired..she kip avoiding me..ignoring me..ok..i noe its my fault for hurting yur feelings once agn..i dont say a word about hw u treat me but instead i asked about hw u r all along..are u ok..is everything going smoothly for her..yet..things are still the same..are u doing this so tt to punish me and to make me feel hw it is lyk to hurt someone?if tts the case..y not u tell me juz wat u wanna do?

do u noe the more u ignore me..the more i'm starting to feel tt u're irritating and start to hate u? deep inside me i dont hate u..in fact i wanna find out hw u r recently and hw are u feeling..are u ok.. i wanna noe everything about u..yet being treated lyk tis..if u really find me irritating to u..and u nid space..TELL ME !! i'll giv u all the space and in fact i'm rdy to leave u anytime and nver to appear infront of u agn..all u nid to do is juz tell me tts wat u wan..and i'll giv it to u..

to all those ppl i talk bout above..u noe who u r..if tts wat u really wan..then fine..let it b..end of friendship and tts it..as for her..i'll still and i'm still waiting for an ans..i'm not gonna talk to her until she talks to me..dont wanna disturb her and make her feel irritated..

2007-10-09T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hi agn..haha..i would recommend u to leave as i'm gonna talk alot of crap..hehe..so if u hate craps and lame..kindly leave ^^"..tyvm

today when bballing wif sy bk fiona shuhui charmaine vanessa n eleen..lol..quite fun thou playing bball wif them..but today is a bad day..coz my dad ask me go see hp stuff..irritating..dont wan talk bout it..quite sometime nver play bball wif them le..mayb last time playing wif them idk..but will see hw..nw i found out tt i've grown taller !! haha..tts one thing..but my speed and my hands cannot coordinate well..causing the ball kip falling off my area of reach..means cannot control well lah..lolx..

today i had a feeling..so painful..my heart..so sad..idk y..

"if one day u found someone u lyk..hav had an good relationship wif tt guy"..tt came to my mind..and sent to her..idk y tis came to my mind..juz nw she had gastric pain..when i saw her..i felt so useless..nth i could do even as a fren..

nw the time is 11.30pm..my heart felt so stuffy and pain..nver felt so hurt before..i could do anything bout wats going on arnd me..so hopeless..sometimes i really nid someone to actually company me..but i noe nws not the time..everyone havin exams..except my sec 4 frenz..finished N lvl..but they hav their own things to do oso..dont wanna disturb them..so came here and wrote it on..

sometime how i wish i could read her heart..i really wonders wat she is thinking all about..dont quite unst wat she means..wat she gonna do..sometimes it onli makes my mind go into the field of question wif lots of ridiculious answers...ever since we started off..i mind was full of her all day long everyday..wanna noe wats she's doing..is she ok..is she taking care of herself well..did she injured herself somewhere etc etc..juz cant stop thinking..lots of her..and her..and her..i dare not say tt she MUZ be wif me..nor i'm the best guy she could ever find..but as long as i noe..she is happy..she is safe..i would be very content to live on quietly without disturbing her..( lol..very mushy eh..think so too --ll )

its hard to let go actually..she was my 1st girlfriend afterall..think it will take quite some time to actually forget..really really cant live without her..she is lyk a part of me alrdy..the image of her is deeply carved onto my heart..she had left her footsteps on my heart..she's always in my mind..( omg..here onwards is getting out of hand !! ) the way she smile and laught..the way she talks..her voice..her scent..her attitude..her temper..her face..her back when she walk off..all of these were deeply remembered in my heart..it shall not b erase..

ppls emotions change very fast..all it nid is juz a split seconds of silence and tts it..it changes due to ppl arnd him or her too..tts even more faster..change on the spot !

nw i felt the emptyness in my life..hw quiet my life is althou i'm always noisy arnd frenz..getting lame and stupid..i did all these was juz merely to entertain ppl actually..no other purposes as it seems so..live to entertain ppl..tt kinda life sucks..i really hate it..y do i hav to entertain others to benefit?? cant i stand on my own feet??

rather stuipd to say all these thou..no one is looking..no one is listening..talking to the wall..sometime hw i wish i was dead...bring no trouble to others and also to end suffering for ppl arnd me as well as to me..i'm juz so tired..wanna get away from all these irritating stuff..

holiday juz started onli and nw i'm getting sick of it..

so ppl out there..hav more frenz..be truthful to them and cherish the time u hav..dont waste a min a sec..when u're together u could find alot of things to enjoy as well as to learn..

talking crap agn..haiz..cant be bothered cant i..haha..
kk..enough of rubbish..ending it here..

good luck to my frenz who is still having exams..

2007-10-08T21:40:00.001+08:00

Hi all..quite some time nver log-in..haha..busy wif N-lvl n also playing game(~LoL~) haha..playing rappelz atm..quite fun if u're playing wif frenz or in team..not alone thou..hahahx..if interested can go to www.filefront.com and look for rappelz epic 4 and download it..quite cool thou..hahahx..

kk..talk bout wats happened recently..

recently..i found out tt i'm VERY noisy and irritating..its true..talk so much rubbish..<~rubbishboy~> irritating oso..haiz..and not onli those 2 things..guess ppl will hate me more coz..i broke up wif her..agn!!(~btw we patched on 29/08~)(~broke up on 25/09~) TT damn irritating me..tis time round..broke up wif her coz of some ppl(cant rmb who) say she dont lyk me no more..then break up wif her will do both of us good..then broke up wif her..

nw..idk wat we are nw..frenz?..are we still who we are?..think i did hurt her VERY VERY badly..guess anyone would b if being treated lyk tis..others might think tt i'm toying her feelings arnd..break patch break patch..but i dont care much..coz i noe deep dwn inside my heart..i truely love her and wanna be wif her..but if she really wanna clear cut lines between us..i'll respect her decision..

when i'm wif her..tt kind of feelings..its hard to describe..hmm..is lyk u're running on a endless field wif lots of flowers and butterfly flying arnd..(~LoL~) its tt kind of wonderful..nothing to worry bout..do not nid to think bout others..juz the two of us..we're rather used to speechless..even thou sometimes i find it very hard to go through these speechless between us..but by juz thinking bout the time we're together,all these "hard to go through" juz fade off..

being wif her until nw..i would say..she's the one..tis few months..been "trying" to work hard in my studies..thou i dont seems lyk..doing work which i dun noe hw to do last time was easy..willing to do things wif slightly more initiative..i could say she really motivates me..alot..

wanted to be wif her..wanna feel her heart beat..wanna hold her hands looking into her eyes and tell her how much i love her..wanna listen to her when she's talking bout her day..wanna share her sorrow..her sadness..wanna hold her hands and walk wif her throughout my life..really really love her alot..i'll try my best to give her everything i hav..hope one day we will be lyk b4..holding hands walking on the strees..

(~sth to share wif others bout hw i felt~)

tis is a picture of a token to our love for one another..

tis picture
might b taken
badly..
but..
it is
printed onto
my
heart deeply
and
beatifully..

ty for visiting my blog..(~ ^^ ~)

2007-03-20T19:22:00.000+08:00

Haiz...holiday so fast ended...time to get back to sch and "try" my best...1o1x...lyke real...

tis few weeks felt weird...dunno wat i doin...go my room get things...went into the room...forgot wat i wanna take ><...play game...go warehouse take things...reached warehouse...forgot wat i wanna take ><...homework...given before holiday...after holiday...forget everything><...

thx to all the teachers who are so kind tt let us(me and my classmates) hand in our work few days later...haiz...

nw in npcc...seems lyke i hav lost my way...dunno wat to teach the sec2 le...seems lyke all the things needed to be taught had been taught...but there still alot to teach ><...couldnt concentrate well recently in simple term...haha...last thursday
(holiday's thrusday)...promotion test...skip my campcraft test ><><...haiz...tis cannot continue ><...continues = dead for N lvl >< ... ... ...